Post by dcsmmi on Aug 30, 2007 16:48:49 GMT -5
I'm spending much more time on the computer these days. I can't stomach being over with the horses, and I can't talk on the phone without becoming a babbling blubbering idiot.
I just got home from making arrangements for a marker. I have set aside a 120 lb green mica stone - although it doesn't look green - it's white and yellow with traces of red. It sparkles in the sun. I will pay for it and pick it up on Tuesday. Our local trophy place will make a plaque to put on the stone (I assume I'll do it with silicone or? I don't know if the mica will crumble if I drill it?) The plaque is actually made of formica of all things - it will weather well. She is able to take the picture I have of him and etch it onto a piece of aluminum that will go on one end. Whatever I want to say will be on the other end. I still have to think about that part.
Buddy changed my life. He altered the direction and the purpose completely. He, literally, saved hundreds of lives - believe it or not. Now that everything has changed again, I don't know how to get through the day. It hurts to breathe, blink, swallow. I can't sleep and haven't eaten for 2 days. I grew up with horses - had them all my life. Not one of them compares. And I would have given them all to save him.
Buddy was my reason. He was my dream. And in the end, I didn't pay enough attention. There are so many why's and what if's. I can save the rest, but I can't save my own.
I've made the difficult decision to close Strawberry Mountain for a while - at least through the winter. I need some space, and some time. I constantly struggle with hay storage - the bulk of it is stacked and tarped and the whole top layer at least already needs to be thrown away. I don't know if Buddy got some mold, I can't figure out what started it. But I'm going to pour everything I have into building a hay storage area. I've had several quotes - the best being $9000 for a 36 x 40 pole structure with 16 ft eves. They've promised to even donate some more. I'm going to do this for Buddy. And I won't take another horse in until it's done. I have a partial materials list and I'm going to start getting prices soon. If I'm lucky, someone will donate supplies.
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to live through. This one 'mutt', this desert rat mustang - showed my dad that not all "good horses" have to have papers. He taught my old cowboy dad alot about love, and my dad bragged about him to everyone. He wasn't pedigreed. He was born in the wild, as pure as could be. He survived the gather and the trip from Nevada - eventually to find his way to me. Of all the horses, that one golden one found me. He chose me.
Thank you for all the posts and emails. I can't respond to them all right now individually. I've read most, and will read them all later.
Darla
I just got home from making arrangements for a marker. I have set aside a 120 lb green mica stone - although it doesn't look green - it's white and yellow with traces of red. It sparkles in the sun. I will pay for it and pick it up on Tuesday. Our local trophy place will make a plaque to put on the stone (I assume I'll do it with silicone or? I don't know if the mica will crumble if I drill it?) The plaque is actually made of formica of all things - it will weather well. She is able to take the picture I have of him and etch it onto a piece of aluminum that will go on one end. Whatever I want to say will be on the other end. I still have to think about that part.
Buddy changed my life. He altered the direction and the purpose completely. He, literally, saved hundreds of lives - believe it or not. Now that everything has changed again, I don't know how to get through the day. It hurts to breathe, blink, swallow. I can't sleep and haven't eaten for 2 days. I grew up with horses - had them all my life. Not one of them compares. And I would have given them all to save him.
Buddy was my reason. He was my dream. And in the end, I didn't pay enough attention. There are so many why's and what if's. I can save the rest, but I can't save my own.
I've made the difficult decision to close Strawberry Mountain for a while - at least through the winter. I need some space, and some time. I constantly struggle with hay storage - the bulk of it is stacked and tarped and the whole top layer at least already needs to be thrown away. I don't know if Buddy got some mold, I can't figure out what started it. But I'm going to pour everything I have into building a hay storage area. I've had several quotes - the best being $9000 for a 36 x 40 pole structure with 16 ft eves. They've promised to even donate some more. I'm going to do this for Buddy. And I won't take another horse in until it's done. I have a partial materials list and I'm going to start getting prices soon. If I'm lucky, someone will donate supplies.
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to live through. This one 'mutt', this desert rat mustang - showed my dad that not all "good horses" have to have papers. He taught my old cowboy dad alot about love, and my dad bragged about him to everyone. He wasn't pedigreed. He was born in the wild, as pure as could be. He survived the gather and the trip from Nevada - eventually to find his way to me. Of all the horses, that one golden one found me. He chose me.
Thank you for all the posts and emails. I can't respond to them all right now individually. I've read most, and will read them all later.
Darla