Update on Dark Destiny

[endurorider81]

Why don't you guys focus your energy on something you know you can change? If she is not listening to what you are telling her to do, then why are you all still wasting your breath? If she just wants attention for herself, aren't you giving it to her by rambling on? Why not just drop this tread and ignore her? If she is truely looking for "attention" for just her, well, in my own opinion, you are giving it to her. Attention is attention, no matter positive or negitive.

[beckybee]

Can you have Munchausen syndrome by proxy with horses

From wikipedia:
Fabricated or Induced Illness (FII), or factitious disorders, originally and more commonly known as Munchausen Syndrome or Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP), are insidious disorders in which injury is deliberately and gradually inflicted upon a person usually for gaining attention or some other benefit.

The caregiver is usually a parent, guardian, or spouse, and the victim is usually a vulnerable child or adult. Although cases with feigned or induced physical illness receive the most attention, it is also possible for a perpetrator who emotionally abuses a victim to simulate and fabricate conditions that appear to be psychiatric or genetic problems.

Indications:

• A child who has one or more medical problems that do not respond to treatment or that follow an unusual course that is persistent, puzzling and unexplained.
  
• A parent who appears to be medically knowledgeable and/or fascinated with medical details and hospital gossip, appears to enjoy the hospital environment, and expresses interest in the details of other patients’ problems.
  
• A highly attentive parent who is reluctant to leave their child’s side and who themselves seem to require constant attention.
  
• A parent who appears to be unusually calm in the face of serious difficulties in their child’s medical course while being highly supportive and encouraging of the physician.
  
• A parent who reports dramatic, negative events, such as house fires, burglaries, or car accidents, that affect them and their family while their child is undergoing treatment.
  
• A parent who seems to have an insatiable need for adulation or who makes self-serving efforts for public acknowledgment of their abilities.
  

[earlybp]

I think the thing that bothers me most is the crap in the yard. Because that is obviously a danger, and is easily fixed for free.
I am really glad that Sara is working with Jen, and I am hopeful that this works out.
I think that Jen really doesn't understand the gravity of the situation, and no amount of yelling and chewing out is going to get through to her. She just gets defensive, and then dismisses out of hand all of the advice that she's been given.
Horses need their own kind, and need mothering from experienced mares. I know that if somebody put a foal out with my six-year-old mare, she'd be a terrible mother. She'd do the horsey equivilant of dressing it up in baby clothes. She's just inexperienced. I think that most maiden mares are. Tawny may have grown up in a band of horses, but I'm not sure how she's going to take living with a baby in a backyard pasture. I hope she's a kind horse.
If there were a lot of experienced horsewomen who thought that my vet was giving bad information, I'd get a second opinion, just to be sure. That's what I'd do.

[endurorider81]

This is going to be my last post on this subject, but come on!!! Munchausen syndrome? Now this is really getting sick. I can't sit here and watch this at all. You all should be ashamed. In my own opinion (I am not an attourney) but sounds like this is starting to get borderline slander. Glad to see that someone is being adult about this all (earlybp) and very well said. Does anyone remember about raising kids? The more you yell at them the more they ingore you? But if you talk to them quietly and with respect then they listen a little more? I am not defending anyone, but this is all getting just rediculous. My eyes are tired. Bye everyone. Good luck Jen ( jen right?)

[Admin]

I think this thread has run it course.
Ultimately it is Jen's decision what to do with her horse. If she needs support we need to be there FOR THE HORSE.

Please no more negative comments/bashing or the thread will be archived.

Thanks ;D

[mbr]

I'm done with her so no more comments from me regarding her. I do however wish Destiny the best

[shadowstormwolf]

Youll all be happy to know ive made a very heart wrenching decision and im allowing Dean to Foster Destiny for a couple months luckily shes not really gonna be that far from me and ive got a lil kickass scooter that can get me there in no time once i get the parts for it. This is not easy for me.
It took almost 7yrs of riding my husband to get him to finally say yes and now my field will be empty again. The horses have been the only therapy that has over ridden both my medical conditions they are literally my life savers. Im hoping this will finally end all the bashing ive been getting and allow the support i came to this group for in the first place to happen.
With a heavy heart
Jen

[toeps]

Jen, I'm proud of you. It is apparent how much you love her and I know it was a very difficult decision for you. When it came down to it, regardless of what any of us said, it was your choice. Thanks for making the right one (IMO) I am glad you will still be able to visit and play with your baby

[calypso]

Jen,

I offer my congratulations for doing what is the very best for her. Six month ago I had to make the decision to move my filly to a place where she could get exactly what she needs. (She was injured and not getting better where she was, so she went to Founder Rehab and she is now 100% sound, and out on steep pasture with another baby to play with and a bossy PMU mare to teach her manners.) So, I know exactly what you are feeling.

She will get excellent care, and thankfully she's not too far from you so you will be able to see her often. I know it isn't the same as looking out your window, but it will be worth it. Sacrificing a few months so she can get exactly what she needs right now will seem a small price to pay in the long haul.

Meanwhile, you can take this time to continue to work on what you need to so you will be the best possible Jen for her when she returns.

[quatzie]

Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing, but you made the best decision for your baby. Being a parent is not easy, and stepping up to the plate is not a easy path to follow..

[Tockita]

I agree Quartzie, I get overly frustrating to see so many people with children who can not let go of the selfish stage of their life.

Jen THANK YOU for choosing to give Destiny a chance to learn to be a horse from a horse. I was hard on you, but it isn't just you, it's the people that see and read what you do and will try to do the same thing without a clue of how difficult it is.


When she returns in a few months hopefully her legs will have recovered and you will have a healthy happy horse for the next 35 years.

[icehorse]

I know that was a hard decision for you. good job for setting aside your pride and doing what is in the horses' best interest. it will certainly pay off. It was never a question whether or not you loved your horse, it was just the critical timing of it all. and now you have time to prepare your property. Are you not getting the draft now? And ditto what Toeps, Calypso, Quatizie, and Tockita said.

[earlybp]

Jen-
That's awesome news. I'm glad to hear that you have a scooter to go visit her! Hang in there, girl. It's going to be all right.

[shadowstormwolf]

Jul 5, 2008 13:39:20 GMT -5 icehorse said:

I know that was a hard decision for you. good job for setting aside your pride and doing what is in the horses' best interest. it will certainly pay off. It was never a question whether or not you loved your horse, it was just the critical timing of it all. and now you have time to prepare your property. Are you not getting the draft now? And ditto what Toeps, Calypso, Quatizie, and Tockita said.

Tawny wont be here till July 26 or 27th, the friend who owns her is also a proffesional dog shower and wants to take me on as her protegy so my first lesson will be the weekend of the 19th in Portland GACK i have to get dressed up i dont do fancy smancy lol im me punky and comfy are my motto. Perfect timing though my hair isnt pink anymore LMAO

She shows Chinese crested both hairless and powder puffs and minpins
so should be fun hard work but Fun

Ok folks WHAT in the yard is causing issues so if i cant move it i can fence it off so thats one less issue

[Tockita]

LOL well you can be sure horses will find anything you leave and either step on it or cut themselves on it.

I have stuff in my yard and on my patio but try to keep the horse yard empty. I was keeping the drag against the fence next to the gate. But when the baby arrived we pulled it out and now I am using a smaller one I take in when we drag and then back out.

They have a barrel, a ball, a hula hoop, and a frisbee .... and Sera has a wading pool. Anything else in there blows in. (we are on the windward side of the street with 4 houses across from us. So everything the trash truck comes.. trash blows over the fence and I get to go pick it up. (I am better about picking it out of the horse yard then I am the back yard.)

[gratefulknits]

My riding instructor laughs at me because when I take my lesson horse out of his stall, and lead him around the arena once to stretch his legs and let him "look" (he's a major spooker if he hasn't seen everything before the lesson starts!), I have my eyes on the ground the whole time. She thinks I'm being weird, I know, but I can't tell you how much cr@p I've found on the ground out there! Screws, bits of metal, jagged rocks, you name it. I'm of the mindset that anything that could possibly hurt a horse, the horse WILL find, step on, and hurt itself! So I do a "sweep" of the arena first before I even mount. I do the same thing when I'm out with my horses, and I find all kinds of stuff that sure looks like hazards to me. You know how it is: the horses are constantly banging up on the gates and fences and they find a way to loosen things like screws etc. So, at your place, just keep an eye open for anything that could potentially (even if it seems farfetched) pose a hazard to a frisky animal. Gardening implements, glass anythings, whatever. Good luck with your new endeavor with the dogs, and bless you for doing the right thing for your baby girl; I know it must have been a very difficult decision (dang, why does it seem that so many of the decisions we have to make for our horses ARE difficult?!) but I applaud you for putting her well-being before everything else.

[Admin]

Destiny is chillin' with Rocha and Trail. The meeting was uneventful. ;D Rocha laid her ears back, I'm the boss period. She ran over by Trail and they got to know each other a bit with Rocha supervising. In 10 minutes they all had their heads down eating.

[calypso]

Very cool Dean! I'm glad she's got an nice cranky mare to teach her what's what.