Been in a funk.......

[michellep]

I need some words of encouragement or advise.....I have been feeling in a funk lately about my life with my horses. Last January we adopted Turtle from CBER and he has had some issues and went through training and is overall much better as far as trusting and easier to handle on the ground. He is pretty good about going on trails, no spook around cars, bicycles, tents. But I think we have reached the point where he is "testing" his limits. I took him out by himself on Friday and he did good for being away from his friend for the first time. As the ride went on I could tell he was trying to find ways of going home and ending our ride. He didnt do anything dangerous like rear or buck. So we eventually ended our ride on a good note with us going home when I wanted. He does back up and neck reign better now. I guess the problem Im having is that I rode my husbands horse on Sunday and feel "safe". Sampson is one of those horses that you can just feel when he is going to shy at something. He has been around the block a few times, he is 23 yrs old. I feel like Im not giving Turtle a fair chance sometimes comparing him to Sampson and even my old gelding. And we have also talked about selling out as early as next summer and doing something new without horses. So Im not sure where this funk is coming from. Is it just burn out? I have had horses now for 28yrs. I do know that Turtle needs patience, patience, patience and he is a very gentle horse and learns quickly. Since we have had him its been a long road to gaining his trust and the more I talk to him while Im riding the more I can feel him relax. Im not in any hurry with Turtle to do the difficult trails, in fact Im kind of a fraidy cat when it comes to the steep stuff. Just an easy trail ride is good for me. Any thoughts on how to get out of this mood Im in?

[bridgetah]

You're not alone.

I don't have any advice, but a lot of people are feeling that way these days. There is just so much coming at us - gas prices, hay prices, environmental degradation, job losses, war . . . It's all so shrill and extreme.

All that and our ordinary, every day concerns and it's hard to avoid being in a funk.

[Admin]

Horses and rescue are difficult, emotionally exhausting and expensive.
I think most are having a hard time with the extra horses that are hard to place. The ever expanding prices to keep them and watching the one's we can't save be slaughtered.

Take a break and back away for a while. We need to sometimes to get back on our feet emotionally. The horses never seem to mind the break either ;D

[cutiepiepmu]

Things are spendy - very spendy - and anything money related can really cause emotional stress - even if it is somethign we DO care about.

There is always a big gap between the horses we know, trust and that are bomb proof vs. a green horse that we have had issues with. Sometimes it is just a time and miles deal - not evena training issue so much as a "you and him" getting to know eachother issue. The more you ride, the more you are going to recognize his hot spots - the same as you do the older steady eddies. Plus, the more you ride the more your horse is going to trust your judgement and learn about you as a rider. The relationship you may have on the ground - even a great relationship - can change under saddle when you are out experiencing and seeing new things - especially alone when the comfort factor is gone for both of you.

My old man (QH stallion -27 this year) is a HARD horse to ride. He dances, bucks, throws hissy fits and will do a little half rear and stomp his feet at times. He is trained to the HILT - and is literally the best cow horse I have ever owned - he is also the only horse i feel truely SAFE on - despite his craziness and tendancy to get overly excited. The reason? We know eachother - I know what he is thinking, I can feel his body change and know what it means, and I know how to sit and handle it with him. That certainly DID NOT happen over night I have had this kid since he was born! And, do this day - Me and my papa(grandpa) have been the only ones to ride him and actually stay on! LOL But - then you take my big guy Kadin - He is green and needs finishing - he doesn't really buck - he does spook occasionally and jump sideways. But, in the big scheme of things - he is a well behaved guy - I feel MUCH less safe and way more nervous riding him. Why? Because - although I know him and trust him well on the ground - We are still getting to know eachother as a horse/rider team. He has less life experience and I have had a couple of big accidents on him. I know in time he will be my steady eddie too - but for now, I have to work through my nerves, same as he does. Time and miles

Hang in there - Try not to focus on what you have with your other horse, but more on this kid. take time to learn how his body feels - how he reacts to different things - ect. In time, you will feel confident with him

Sara

[earlybp]

When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life." -Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

We're in hard times, but you know, I'm realizing more and more that abundance is about perception more than it's about reality. The world isn't really that different a place. And this is coming from a gal that once had scads of money and is now too poor to pay attention.

I bet that if you go out and play with Turtle, you're going to find yourself enjoying him more. Stay safe, but don't put yourself on a time table, and don't think about how things should be, but what you can enjoy about how things are.

[wendyp]

Hi Michelle,

I know that I sometimes set 'goals' when I go out to ride my horses, and sometimes I forget to be flexible. The horse I ride today is not going to be the same horse I rode yesterday - it just seems to be 'different' every time. So even if you plan to ride Turtle alone, and go 2 miles and then turn around and come home, there's no crime in changing those plans. Cutting a ride short because it isn't fun anymore, is probably a really good decision for both of you - if you aren't enjoying it, I guarantee you Turtle isn't either. I sometimes get caught up in 'you can't let the horse make the decisions' - but what if the horse is actually feeding off my feelings and trying to do the right thing?? What if Turtle senses that you aren't happy on the ride and that you want to go back? I honestly believe that horses know what we are thinking, and then we correct them for doing what we are thinking we would like to do....did that make any sense at all? I try to remind myself to look at it from the horses point of view...what could he/she be trying to tell me?

As far as talking during your rides that is a Really, really good thing to do! That means you are breathing! When I get nervous I forget to breathe, get stiff and rigid, start thinking about all the things that we should be doing, and my mind starts going a hundred miles an hour......Lotti responds by getting nervous and upset - surprise, surprise.

Pushing ourselves (and our horses) outside our comfort zones is very scary. You don't necessarily 'have' to go outside your zone. Maybe hiring someone to ride with you - you on hubby's horse, and an experienced rider on Turtle, would help you to see how well he can do, and build your confidence.

Now, having said all of that, maybe Turtle isn't the horse for you......there's no crime in admitting that you guys aren't a good fit.

Trust your gut...............

WendyP/Bend, OR

[hayforhorses - The Food Angel]

Hi, Michelle,

Patience, perseverance and time should help you feel more comfortable with him...and, I saw a posting on CL that might help you? Are you in WA or OR? If not, you could email this person and get some tips from her?

portland.craigslist.org/clk/vol/755353478.html

One Free Horse safety training (Clark County)

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Reply to: [e-mail]
Date: 2008-07-14, 7:31PM PDT

Do you have a horse that you don't feel safe around? I am a trainer and am doing two free sessions every six months to keep people from getting hurt around their horses.
I work at the location the horse is at....I live in Camas and work all around Clark county, I also have a couple of clients in Estacada.
Email with your horse problems and/or specific issues.

Location: Clark County

[patrolhorse]

I can also identify Michelle.
It seems of late, I spend so much time worrying about horses that I sometimes forget to just slow down and enjoy them! I tend to get caught up in the day-to-day hustle of worrying about how to afford feed, vet bills and making the time to do all the chores associated with having horses- let alone- time to ride! Then I feel guilty that they aren't getting worked with more !
I must say that when I do have extra time- it so much easier to jump on one of my veterans, than to work with my younger horses, which require more patience and time. It takes so much time (usually years!) to get to the point where you can truely relax- and enjoy the ride.
So give yourself some credit- sounds like Turtle is coming along really good! On the other hand, I agree with Wendy- if you think the two of you are not a good match- there is nothing wrong with admitting that either.

I just got back from being away from home for a week and I must say- I returned with a renewed appreciation for my horses! I find that when I step back from the pressure and stress for a bit- I realize that they really do bring great joy to my life ;D!

[michellep]

I have an update on Turtle.........Does anybody have a solution or other option for this situation? I rode Turtle again last night from my home by himself, in the first 5 minutes were a little rough, he started out with a buck and after that just settled into what we were doing. I ususally try to start off just in the driveway which is probably 2 blocks long just going up and down the driveway working on our neck reigning and backing up. Then we start out of the driveway down the road, he did great with that, no fuss about being away from his buddy, cars passed us and no problems with cars. Again during this part of the ride I ususally work on giving to pressure, and backing up, sometimes just standing still on the road. No problems there. He was not jiggy or prancing, of course he would rather be home doing nothing so a little encouragement from me and he would move out down the road fine. Im still finding that the more I continue to talk to him during our ride the more he is willing to keep going forward. Other than the buck, I was very pleased with the ride. I do have a small area that I could longe him in before I start riding, its not ideal but would work for now. We are planning to take him to the local arena on Saturday morning so I will have a much better area to longe before I sit in the saddle. Im not able to go to the arena everyday, but figure that if I ride from home just him and I at least twice a week that should be doing some good. Im looking for advice from others that have been in this situation, so please let me have it.

[jenm]

Michelle,

It sounds like you and Turtle are making some great improvements. One thing I haven't seen you write about is what you do with him on the ground. Is your time with him always spent in the saddle or do you often spend time with him doing ground work? His ability to respect you and work with you from the ground will translate to his work with you under saddle. You don't need an arena or round pen to do effective ground work exercises.

When you are out riding and he tries to make the decision as to when to call it quits, make him work. If you have room, get him going in some circles. He will soon learn it's much easier to move forward than in circles. He has a choice, move forward and cruise, or move in circles and really have to work! I know what you are going through because Jamaica still needs a lot more miles on trails. I have to remember to "ride every stride". She is not a horse to put on cruise control. I look at my relationship with Jamaica as a wonderful journey with many, many rewards. Do I get frustrated? Absolutely. Do I get jealous of the people who have cruise control horses? Sometimes. But I also realize I have been given the opportunity to establish a true partnership with a horse who has never had a human partner.

Only you can make the decision as to whether Turtle is the right horse for you. If you are not enjoying the journey, take a step back and try to figure out why.

Good luck. You have a lot of support on this board!

[michellep]

Not all of our time is in the saddle, sadly I feel like not enough time is in the saddle. I do spend time on groundwork with him, he is very startled by sudden movements especially around his head. Fly spray is a big issue right now. If I just suddenly raise my arm and start spraying thats not a good thing. I have been just rubbing him around his head & neck with the bottle before I go to spraying (I never spray his face) he does settle down, and when I say he acts up he never attempts to run me over or anything dangerous and Im always talking to him telling him that he is okay. I have rubbed him all over with tarps, shook plastic bags around him, worked from the ground on his backing up. My main fault, and its with myself is that I dont go out enough during the week with him. Its just hard after work and then with housework and a husband I dont always feel like working with him. I adore Turtle, and think that with time he will be a great companion. I do feel like at some point in his life that he has gotten away with bad behavior and gotten the bluff in on somebody and then been beaten as a result.

[swissgrl]

Michelle, don't beat yourself up for not having a lot of time going out. I feel the same way with Merlin, I always think I need to do more with him during the week, but I work, I have crazy hours, I have a house and garden that need tending to, and I'm just not Superwoman...
But I've made it a point, that everytime I go out to either clean their paddock, or go feed, I fiddle with him. Wether it's just picking up his feet, touching his head/ears, loving on him, pet him all over, it is a little work. He used to haul a$$ everytime I made a quick move, or lifted my arm fast, so I made it a point of doing these things, but ignoring him, and not making it a big deal. He's not on the halter, so if he feels he needs to run he can, but I have the other horses here, and they're used to it, and so he always comes back, because he does not want to be left out. And it's not about him per say, but I still feel it's good training for him. Eventually he'll realise that me doing a quick move, or lifting my arm is just no biggy. As long as your consistent with what you're doing.
Because he is so young, I have a trainer coach me once or 2x a week. Sometimes she sees things I'm doing, that I'm stuck with, and she gives me little pointers, and voila, all of a sudden it works.

forgot to mention, fly spray, Merlin thinks it's eating him alive. So what I'm doing with him, is not spray directly at him. Take a Spray bottle, fill it with water, and add some flyspray for the smell. But you won't waste to much of it. Then I'll stand at his neck, and spray the flyspray away from him, come slowly around, until I spray the legs, when he moves back, I keep spraying, as soon as he stops, I stop spraying. We do both sides, and I'm up to spraying the shoulder, but again, I'm not doing it every day either.....

I've also started taking a spray bottle with just water, and during my lessons with him, spray it on myself, you should have seen the look on his face the first time

Good luck with him

[Admin]

Have you ever ponied him?

[michellep]

I havent tried ponying him yet. I havent tried ponying another horse off of my husbands horse. Might try that.