Here's a good laugh!

[toeps]

My Mom is a flight attendant for Alaska Airlines, she forwarded this to me. Enjoy! ;D

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degre to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix on. Reassurance for those that fly routinely

After every flight UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", which tells the mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs, and then the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor!! Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire

P: Test flight okay, except auto-land is very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P: DME volume is unbelievable loud
S: DME volume set to more believable level

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: That's what friction locks are for

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine is missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed

P: Noise coming from under instument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
S: Took hammer away from midget

[swissgrl]

LOL, that is freakin' hilarious, thanks for the laugh!!!

I'll be asking to check the plane out myself on my next trip overseas.......

[gratefulknits]

My favorite one was "Evidence Removed" !!!!

[sundancer]

I liked the mouse one!

My little, petite cat Daisy, who weighs 5 pounds, is an absolute PSYCHO KILLER! She kills mice, RATS, gophers, lizards, baby mockingbirds, and, much to my chagrin, BABY RABBITS. Just kills them and leaves 'em on the front lawn. Doesn't eat them...must be "the sport"...she also has a "dead things" corner in the garage. She has absolutely cleaned out the mice and rats from our yard. Tiny little thing...my other cat, who weighs 16 pounds, hardly gets up from his seat on the chair in the front yard. I guess he just watches her in action.

[toeps]

I need to borrow her!!! We have a rat! infestation problem again! Last spring we trapped over a dozen!!! OMG!!! If I see one in the house I'm MOVING!!!!!

[afleetcommand]

Very Funny post made a little funnier because...

My oldest brother works for Alaskan Airlines maintenance department and has for years and years...No kidding! AND his College degree was for Map Making or some such thing from a SUNY (State University of New York)

OK..sounds like an admission of high school diploma guilt? He also was a Navy Trained Heliochopter Mechanic and worked on planes for several years with Grumman & then a Grumman & NASA joint project...one of the most accomplished all around mechanical types you will ever encounter in a life time should you meet him..no kidding.


The BEST thing is his daughter was and still is a very accomplished horse person.(Western Style Stuff) .and I hear my brother hasn't let the horse hobby drift away with her graduating and growing up...of course like the rest of our family we are about as far apart in every way as is geographically possible..so he and his daughter haven't had the opportunity to experience (ahemmm) real performance horses....(Bet he dissagrees..too bad)