Things to never say to a cop...

[Admin]

Things to never say to a cop...

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[rescuestoribbons]

Wow... did you just think of those!!! They are pretty good, good thing I haven't started driving yet, I just may have had to pull on eof those out of my pocket!! Just kidding!

[swissgrl]

LOL, hope I never need them, but just in case......

[TashGaia]

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shoot.

2. I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself
in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message

8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're
saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you! You remind me of myself when I was young and
stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a d**n.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about
you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder... my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... it's like humour but different.

[cybercat]

I love BOTH of these sets of "Out Loud" thoughts...

Tash, the set you posted would get my husband SO fired, but MAN, DO THEY EVER WORK IN HIS SITUATION! I can just hear him thinking most of those....

[beejoyfulmk]

lov those!!! thanks

[ptowne]

How about, "I hope you brought your handcuffs." The cops my neighbor called because my dog got loose were not amused. In fact, I almost got arrested.
Pam